Listen up crapfaces, this entry is super important. It is about the most awesomest lady in the world named.... DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Lex0r! (or Alexis for the lameman) First, I'll start of with a picture:
Just look at that face, she is so super doubly pissed.... I can't tell if she's going to stab me or shoot me! She'd probably shoot me and THEN stab me, or maybe stab and then shoot. The order doesn't really matter, the fact still stands that she is one bad-ass super dance freak.
Speaking of dance freak, see that outfit she's wearing? It's for a dance-off. This picture was taken predance-off and she's showing off her game face. Anyway, more about the dance off. It was held in an undisclosed location, some secret island off of the coast of Cuba where only the most unsavory characters dwell. Pirates, ninjas, ninja pirates, you name it. I was scared to walk the streets of this isle (for the sake of simplicity I'll just refer to is as Ninja Pirate Island). But Lex0r wasn't, she just gave every single swashbuckling ninjitsuist her evil eye and then flashed her gun with home made knife attachment (duct-tape) and they were scurrying off like little babies.
Speaking of babies...
Alexis Hallman: I WANT TWENTY SEVEN BABIES!
Back to the story.
Once we got to the grand dance-off arena we were greeted by an unlikely opponent. Al Gore! Holy crap, the inventor of the internet AND loser of the 2000 presidential election was challenging Lex0r to a dance off. He was still bitter about Florida and if he could he'd go back in time and he would do the ragtime on old ladies' faces.
Lex0r wasn't scared at all and she kept her game face on. I said "Go get 'em Al!" And they kind of got confused, was I talking to Al Gore or Alexis (Al for short)?? But it didn't matter, within a few seconds Alexis was doing the bump and Gore was doing the grind, it was quite the spectacle of lame dancing. About that time I told Lex0r to go to "Plan B." She did as I suggested and started to do the jitterbug of ultimate fury. BUT, Al Gore, using his supreme political power summoned Janet Reno to his side and they started to re-enact the final dance scene from Dirty Dancing. Lex0r started to gag at the horrendous site and then she noticed Janet Reno was wearing the same outfit she was.
UH OH!
With a fury not unlike that of a wallaby, Lex0r ran across Dance Stadium and pulled out her Gnife (gun knife). Janet spin kicked it out of her hand with a fancy break dancing headspin! Lex0r then decided to pull a Pete Townsend and started windmilling her arm like it was a windmill during a windstorm! Janet looked scared and tried to run, but Alexis chased after her (while doing the super bowl shuffle) and SOCKED her right in the face with a giant fist of pure pain. Janet's face exploded due to the sheer awesomeness of that most splendiferous show of dance-fighting by Lex0r.
Meanwhile... Al Gore was crying in the corner of the arena. I don't know how I knew it was the corner, seeing as the arena was circular, but it was the corner. His tear streamed face and doughy eyes didn't phase lex0r though. She began to do the robot and wowed the audience with her fantastical stiff arm movements. She won the audience AND the trophy right then and there. As the judge said "You had me at the moment you stuck your gnife in my face."
As a final show of praise for Lex they had a mystery guest. It was the pope!!!! He always aims to please. He raised his hands high in the air and said "I only have one word for Alexis, and that word is....."
Just look at that face, she is so super doubly pissed.... I can't tell if she's going to stab me or shoot me! She'd probably shoot me and THEN stab me, or maybe stab and then shoot. The order doesn't really matter, the fact still stands that she is one bad-ass super dance freak.
Speaking of dance freak, see that outfit she's wearing? It's for a dance-off. This picture was taken predance-off and she's showing off her game face. Anyway, more about the dance off. It was held in an undisclosed location, some secret island off of the coast of Cuba where only the most unsavory characters dwell. Pirates, ninjas, ninja pirates, you name it. I was scared to walk the streets of this isle (for the sake of simplicity I'll just refer to is as Ninja Pirate Island). But Lex0r wasn't, she just gave every single swashbuckling ninjitsuist her evil eye and then flashed her gun with home made knife attachment (duct-tape) and they were scurrying off like little babies.
Speaking of babies...
Alexis Hallman: I WANT TWENTY SEVEN BABIES!
Back to the story.
Once we got to the grand dance-off arena we were greeted by an unlikely opponent. Al Gore! Holy crap, the inventor of the internet AND loser of the 2000 presidential election was challenging Lex0r to a dance off. He was still bitter about Florida and if he could he'd go back in time and he would do the ragtime on old ladies' faces.
Lex0r wasn't scared at all and she kept her game face on. I said "Go get 'em Al!" And they kind of got confused, was I talking to Al Gore or Alexis (Al for short)?? But it didn't matter, within a few seconds Alexis was doing the bump and Gore was doing the grind, it was quite the spectacle of lame dancing. About that time I told Lex0r to go to "Plan B." She did as I suggested and started to do the jitterbug of ultimate fury. BUT, Al Gore, using his supreme political power summoned Janet Reno to his side and they started to re-enact the final dance scene from Dirty Dancing. Lex0r started to gag at the horrendous site and then she noticed Janet Reno was wearing the same outfit she was.
UH OH!
With a fury not unlike that of a wallaby, Lex0r ran across Dance Stadium and pulled out her Gnife (gun knife). Janet spin kicked it out of her hand with a fancy break dancing headspin! Lex0r then decided to pull a Pete Townsend and started windmilling her arm like it was a windmill during a windstorm! Janet looked scared and tried to run, but Alexis chased after her (while doing the super bowl shuffle) and SOCKED her right in the face with a giant fist of pure pain. Janet's face exploded due to the sheer awesomeness of that most splendiferous show of dance-fighting by Lex0r.
Meanwhile... Al Gore was crying in the corner of the arena. I don't know how I knew it was the corner, seeing as the arena was circular, but it was the corner. His tear streamed face and doughy eyes didn't phase lex0r though. She began to do the robot and wowed the audience with her fantastical stiff arm movements. She won the audience AND the trophy right then and there. As the judge said "You had me at the moment you stuck your gnife in my face."
As a final show of praise for Lex they had a mystery guest. It was the pope!!!! He always aims to please. He raised his hands high in the air and said "I only have one word for Alexis, and that word is....."
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