HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORY

For your birthday I write you a poem.

Hey, it's Cory and it's his birthday
I hate writing poems and I don't really know what to say
do they have to rhyme or is that just crap?
Oh yeah... that's just rap.

I remember long long ago
When Cory's name used to be Moe
and we would frollic in the trees
singing songs and catching honey bees.

Those were the days so innocent and pure
and then I hooked Cory's mouth with a fishing lure.
He cried and yelled and cussed oh so loud
I said he did lots of bleeding and he had done me proud.

Ever since that fateful day Cory had changed at a rapid rate
All his love for me had turned to hate
I said he could hit me with a fishing lure
But NO! His heart was too Pure.

Instead he smacked me with his fist
I wanted a lure... that made me pissed.
So we fought day and night, night and day
We tried to talk, but we didn't know any other way.

We soon found a solution
our violence would need some sort of dilution.
We looked through history books
trying to find some evil crooks.

We wanted to deliver Justice to the mean
and in the process use our George Forman Mean Lean ass kicking MACHINE!
We stumbled upon the Vikings
much like how we stumbled upon a dead body during our bikings.

So we fought the Vikings of the north and south
Cory even bit one with his mouth.
We delivered them justice so rapid
and we made their bodies vapid.

But our job am never done
Those against justice are always on the run.
We shall be together day and night
Fighting the good fight.

Die Vikings DIE
EAT JUSTICE LIKE A PIE
EAT IT GOOD AND EAT IT ALL
EAT IT TILL YOU FALL.

All because of a lure to the mouth and a punch to the face,
we have exterminated the viking race.
Now we frollic amongst the bodies of the dead
cathching the stench of death,
but we'll be together till our last breath.

Friends forever we shall be.
My one true friend Corrie.

Happy birthday friend. I just thought I'd remind you of our history together. We am friends for the best, friends for justice and friends out of mutual boredom.

Enjoy your cake ;-)

You might have read in Corrie's blog that I helped him write a little screen play. Well, you can read that little screen play HERE!! READ NOW!

Fade in:
Int. Doctor’s office - 9 am

Brightly-lit, sterile, meticulously organized. SCOTT, 43, graying beard, gangly, performing check-up on patient. STARLA, sarcastic, thin, obnoxiously continues to file nails.

SCOTT
(with head in 5 year old PATIENTS crotch wearing plastic gloves)

‘I’m dropping you from this class.’ That’s what my prison art instructor said when I made a painting of my escape route. Evidently he didn’t like my use of chiaroscuro. (Pause) That’s not right. That’s not right at all!

STARLA
What?

SCOTT
His penis is bigger than mine. Well Tommy, looks like you need another circumcision.

TOMMY
Again? That’s my fifth.

SCOTT
It’s for your health son. Now here’s your lollipop and set up an appointment on the way out.

Scott hands Tommy a lollipop and a sticker of a smiling penis with a band-aid on it. Tommy runs out crying. Starla begins cleaning up.

StARLA
(Still cleaning)

Damn, I’m glad you didn’t get to my boyfriend.

SCOTT
(Taking off plastic gloves)

I couldn’t. At the time your boyfriend had a vagina.

Starla sprints out of the room crying. Scott starts to suck on a lollipop and sits down

End Scene

We will be working on more scenes AND we will make into super funny comedy plus 5 blockbuster happy movie!

I have an announcement for everyone. Cory and I are reviving the legendary "hobo-paper!"

Look for it in the next few days (or weeks), just rest assured that we are working on it again!

(Megan, the editor position is still yours if you want it ;-))

I think someone is stealing my hangers...

Joel claims it's the hanger gnomes. I insist that there are no hanger gnomes, just underwear gnomes...

maybe they evolved. :-o

I never even knew this site existed. It may be useful someday.

Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities to Anthropomorphic Recyclables

courtesy of The Onion


PHILADELPHIA—Freelance graphic artist Chrissie Bellisle carefully delineated the ethnicities, genders, and sexual orientations of the RecyclaBuddies, a group of talking recyclables created for a public-service leaflet she submitted to the Department of Sanitation Monday.

"I assumed the Department of Sanitation would want the recyclables in its new leaflet to represent not only Philadelphia's recycling procedures, but also its diverse ethnic make-up," said Bellisle, flipping through some initial sketches in her studio. "It turned out to be quite a challenge."

As the purpose behind establishing racial and cultural identities for the talking waste was one of celebration, not caricature, Bellisle found herself working within unusual limits.

"For reasons of basic sensitivity, you don't want to make the Chinese take-out container an Asian," Bellisle said, as she flipped past a crossed-out pencil sketch of an Inuit ice-cream carton. "But, if you make the same type of container represent two different races, people notice. It's a delicate balancing act. I discovered that there were negative connotations attached to a surprising number of the things people throw out."

Although she said she is satisfied with her decision to incorporate Asiatic epicanthic folds into the eyes of an age-discolored stack of newspapers, Bellisle admitted that infusing everyday household garbage with easily recognizable racial traits—while avoiding demeaning stereotypes—is difficult.

"It took me forever to get this trash can to look like a black guy, especially around the nose," said Bellisle, who noted that she discarded close to 30 preliminary characters, among them a Native American milk carton, a Filipino cereal box, and a stack of East Indian wire-hangers. "I finally made the green recycling drum a woman, which was great, since a garbage can is kind of husky, and I could get around the sexy-garbage/body-image issue."

Added Bellisle: "That brings another problem to light: If you include one woman in the mix, no one cares what race she is. As if one female recycling drum can represent female recycling drums of all races, but male recyclables deserve further distinction."

Drawing friendly, nondescript male characters is not the answer, said Bellisle.

"Look at this grinning soda can giving the thumbs-up here," she said. "Everyone subconsciously assumes it's a Caucasian male."

As of press time, Bellisle was still struggling with drawings for a RecyclaBuddies poster to complement the leaflet.

"I have no idea how to make the plastic milk jug look gay," Bellisle said. "I don't want to make him a bottle of water, for obvious reasons. Maybe I'll use a soy-milk container when I draw the gay jug. Or maybe they'll let me switch him with the Chicano, this tin can here. I wasn't too pleased with the Chicano tin can to begin with, especially because my first instinct was to put tomatoes or beans on the can. Not because he's Chicano, but because he's a can."

"And I'm really not looking forward to doing the page that explains the symbols on the bottom of plastic containers," Bellisle added. "Who am I to determine which RecyclaBuddy of color is a 1 and which is a 5?"

Heather Franks, a public-relations official with Philadelphia's Department of Sanitation, was quick to laud Bellisle's efforts.

"We're very pleased with Chrissie's work on the RecyclaBuddies so far," Franks said. "We haven't given final approval to anything, but we've liked the range and depth of the sketches we've seen. They really provide a sense of the cultural diversity that exists in the Philadelphia trash-collection zone."

Added Franks: "We especially love that soda can giving the thumbs-up. I don't know what it is about that little guy, but we're thinking of making him the boss of the whole crew."