Rock, paper, SADAAM!

I'm sure some of you have seen this. I'm sure some of you will think it's dumb. There are no political implications on my part by posting this link, it merely gave me a giggle. And isn't that what life is all about, giggles?

Wow. I officially know more about the guy that is laying tile in the kitchen than I need to.
His name is Robert, he's 27 and he likes his job but wishes he had gone to college to pursue what he really likes: Writing. An odd choice I thought, given his character and demeanor. He looks and acts like your typical youth raised in a harsh ghetto full of gangs and drugs. Not that that's a bad thing, he's a really nice guy, just not what I picture as the typical "writer" type. Why didn't he go to college you ask?

It all started when he was 10. His uncle was a loan shark and he'd often take him along on collection raids when someone wouldn't pay up. Robert's uncle would kick down the door and then he'd tell Robert what things to get. If Robert saw any video game systems he asked to have those and his uncle would let him take them. Of course Robert didn't know what he was doing, he just thought it was the way things were until he turned 15.

Fast forward to 14. Given his early years of stealing and not knowing it, he'd often take his parent's car out for joyrides. He didn't get caught until the middle of his fifteenth year. Whereupon he didn't go to jail (the cop let him off easily even though the car was labeled as "stolen") but his parents got a call, informing them that he stole the car. This was the moment of his life that pretty much broke his chances of going to college. At fifteen years of age he was kicked out of his house.

At this point he COULD have gone to college if he wanted (after highschool of course). He had the money and a steady job that gave him more than enough money to pay for school. He lived out of his car for 2 years, partying, drinking, doing drugs and just overall getting in trouble. Two years he did this and then he moved back in with his parents. At seventeen his dad wanted to send him to a private christian school, but they wouldn't take him. In fact, no school would take him except adult night schools. Around this time he got a job at the Four Seasons.

That's why he recognized my sister's picture. He had worked with her for a few years! Kind of a neat coincidence. Anyway, he worked there for about 4 years and got caught up in it and avoided school. He saw it as too much of a hassle. But then he got in trouble with the law again (unspecified this time) and he was fired from his job.

About a month later is when he got the job at Home Depot starting off as an apprentice and working his way up to his current position today! He's a really nice guy but you can tell he'd rather talk than work. He likes his job but doesn't love it and obviously has some regrets about his past. But he says it's all about learning and living. Cliche, I know, but true. It was actually pretty inspiring to hear him talk. A rather weird source of inspiration, but no one said inspiration had to come from a "good" source.

There's a ton of stuff he told me I didnt post about. Like his two uncles living in venezuela doing "God's work." "God's Work" means living in a small shack and not getting paid a dime for helping the people in the ghetto. They live off of the kindness of the poor people around them to give them food. Or his born again christian brother who claims to have witnessed a woman posessed by a demon... Yeah. There is a ton more stuff but I think I'll just end it here.

Day 130: Today write a letter to your local newspaper to achieve a high profile in your community day. I actually did this day and used one of the book's suggested topics: Dog poo everywhere. I wrote up a little article about dogs and cats shitting all over the place and what could be done about it and I sent it in to the LA Times. The text document is at my mom's house so I'll post it when I get there :) Sadly, it aws never published :(

Day 131: Defy hierarchy today day. The name of the day explains it all. Say "fuck you" to anyone higher ranking than you if they give you some lip. Fortunately/unfortunately for me I rank the highest in my house/my dad doesn't talk to me much. I didn't really have a chance to spit on authority but I often kept my mind preoccupied with thoughts of telling people to piss off.

Day 132: Lucky number day. My lucky number is 12. This is true! My birthday is in December, which is the 12th month and I have suffered 12th degree burns multiple times! Twelve truly is a number among numbers.

Day 133: Invent a color day. A little known fact: in 1957, French painter Yves Klein invented and patented an especially intence ultramarine blue pigment call International Klein Blue. First off: his color looks like a dark version of periwinkle... and how can you INVENT a color? Seriously... you just combine pigments. I could throw any number of pigments together and say I "invented" a color and patent it. Anyway, I didn't want to give this somewhat dumb day much thought so I rounded up all of the food coloring in my house (blue, green, red, yellow, orange and purple), combined them all together in a measuring cup and named the resulting dark doo doo colored substance... *drumroll* Super Transcendental Shadow Bark Formerly Known as Dark Brown.

Day 134: Today hack into a computer network day. Easy day. I don't really know if it's considered "hacking" but I know of a little program that let's you access programs that are running on another person's computer, gives you admin level access and let's you manipulate those running processes. I didn't do anything bad. All I did was make someone's printer spaz out and print a text file that says "All work and no play makes jack a dull boy" over and over. I R TEH h5x

Day 135: Subtext day. Read into every single thing someone says to you. Read between the lines! I want to SAVE this day until I meet someone who I can easily mess with and make up tons of "read into" things. I bookmarked it. It's SAVED! Who wants to be the victim of this day?

As far as other stuff goes... it doesn't. Any qvestions?

In my previous post I had listed Day 122 as "Learn an Emergency first aid procedure." HOWEVER, this was actually day 123. I forgot to take into account that the "No TV weekend" spanned TWO days. Duhhhhhh... Now, on with the post!

Day 124: Buy a parrot and train it to say some unpalatable truth that you cannot voice yourself in society day. I DIDN'T do this day. Why? because I cannot afford a parrot nor would I be able to keep one. Plus I don't really like birds as pets (kind of a lame pet in my opinion). So I just settled with imagining what I would train my parrot to say. It'd probably be: "Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

Day 125: Tour stars today day. This day the book gave me a horoscope and I was supposed to follow it to a T. Here's what my horoscope said: "Today you are compatible with Virgo, Leo and Pisces, but totally incompatible with Taurus. If one enters the room, leave." I wasn't around any Taur..i(?) today so I didn't really have to walk away. Too bad Megan wasn't here so I could leave the room whenever she walked in. Bahahahaha.

Day 126: Exercise your full right as a consumer and purchase a prepackaged good by the unit day. What does this mean? You can supposedly take one Coke can out of a coke box and buy it individually, it's your right as a consumer. I didn't take it that seriously. Instead I went to Albertson's and took a rose out of a dozen roses and asked the lady at the counter if I could buy it. She said "Sure, I don't see why not." I purchased said rose and am waiting for someone to give it to. It's kinda dead now though... :(

Day 127: Office gossip day. The book provides a list of names of people being "laid off" that I was supposed to post in the office to freak people out. A few problems with this: I don't have a job. Okay, that's not a FEW problems but A problem and THE problem. I couldn't do this day without a job so it ended in default. Default = success.

Day 128: Try a new fruit today day. I decided to try elderberries! See a trend here yet? The quote I would have taught the parrot is from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" and elderberries play an important plot device in the same movie. Elderberries are kinda... odd. They taste kind of like a weird mix between grapes, blue berries and cherries. Not bad but it was a little different than I'm used to. I'd eat them again though.

Day 129: Count your blessings day.
Are you alive? Yes. 10 points
Are you in good health? Yes, relatively good health. 9 points
Do you have a partner? No. no points
Do you have regular sex? No. no points
Do you have children? no.
Do you have a roof over your head? Yes. 5 points
Can you feed yourself and your family? For a little while I could. 5 points
Do you have a steady job? No.
Are you free from racial and sexual discrimination? Usually. 5 points
Is your country well away from any geological fault lines? No.
Are your parents still alive? Yes. 4 points
Are you still on speaking terms with them? Yes. 4 points
Have you found God? No.
Have you found yourself? I don't know so I'll give myself half points. 1 point.
Are your bowel movements regular? Yes. 8 points
Were you born into one of the richer social classes? No.
Are you a born optimist? Depends on the situation. Half points, 3 points
Are you a born pessimist? Again, depends. Half points, -3 points
Do you have a sense of humor? Yes. 1 point
Total: 52! If you have more than 40 points you are luckier than 90% of the human race. WOO I'm lucky!