Hi everyone! I'm not dead, but i don't have a whole lot to blog about. So how about another "Ask Daniel?" You know, when you ask me random questions about anything and i do my best to answer them with an authoritative tone even though my answer is probably nowhere close to correct.
so... GO! ASK!
Ok, time to answer these questions, i guess. Even though they are HORRIBLE! Where are the good questions?
Ashley asks: Do you think Strong Sad is couth?
No, I do not believe Strong Sad is couth. It is very clear he has pachyderm ancestry and we ALL know that elephants aren't couth. Example of uncouthedness: a few years ago I went to the zoo to see the elephant exhibit. I had to pee REALLY badly and there were no bathrooms nearby, so what did I do? Well, i was in a very large area with bushes and trees and lakes and elephants! And what do elephants do? They shit all over that place, so I figured it'd be fine for me to relieve myself. The second I take my penis out of my pants BAM! I have an elephant trunk caressing my peanut shaped appendage. Is THAT sophisticated? Is THAT couth? I say "no it isn't," my dear lady, no it is not. Long story short: Strong Sad touched my penis. NEXT!
Ashley asks (again): Why am I breaking out so badly this week?
This one is easy. The new batch of pimples hiding beneath your skin are big fans of The Doors.
Ashley asks (yet again): Would you still be my friend if I was a baked potato?
Short answer: yes. Long answer: no, but with a twist. I'd be your friend in the sense that we'd be close and spend time together, but I'd not be your friend in the sense that I will have eaten, digested and urinated you out of my body. Baked potatos are to me what bagels are to jews, I LOVE 'EM. Well, I don't so much love them as am somewhat indifferent to them, but you'd probably be an annoying baked potato so i'd eat you just to get you to shut the hell up. Don't forget the cheddar.
Megan asks: Why haven't I talked to you for like 6000 days?
Well... it's mostly because I got a job and ever since I've started that job I've been pretty busy and haven't had the chance to talk to you. Aren't you curious as to what my job is? No? Ok fiiiine. I work for a time travel company and I've travelled 6000 days into the future just to see this comment and reply to it. I'm really daniel from 6000 days ago and since i travelled into the future 6000 days ago you haven't spoken to me in 6000 days. Weird, eh? Anyway, I have much news to bring to you from the past but you probably already know all that stuff so I won't say anything...
so... GO! ASK!
Ok, time to answer these questions, i guess. Even though they are HORRIBLE! Where are the good questions?
Ashley asks: Do you think Strong Sad is couth?
No, I do not believe Strong Sad is couth. It is very clear he has pachyderm ancestry and we ALL know that elephants aren't couth. Example of uncouthedness: a few years ago I went to the zoo to see the elephant exhibit. I had to pee REALLY badly and there were no bathrooms nearby, so what did I do? Well, i was in a very large area with bushes and trees and lakes and elephants! And what do elephants do? They shit all over that place, so I figured it'd be fine for me to relieve myself. The second I take my penis out of my pants BAM! I have an elephant trunk caressing my peanut shaped appendage. Is THAT sophisticated? Is THAT couth? I say "no it isn't," my dear lady, no it is not. Long story short: Strong Sad touched my penis. NEXT!
Ashley asks (again): Why am I breaking out so badly this week?
This one is easy. The new batch of pimples hiding beneath your skin are big fans of The Doors.
Ashley asks (yet again): Would you still be my friend if I was a baked potato?
Short answer: yes. Long answer: no, but with a twist. I'd be your friend in the sense that we'd be close and spend time together, but I'd not be your friend in the sense that I will have eaten, digested and urinated you out of my body. Baked potatos are to me what bagels are to jews, I LOVE 'EM. Well, I don't so much love them as am somewhat indifferent to them, but you'd probably be an annoying baked potato so i'd eat you just to get you to shut the hell up. Don't forget the cheddar.
Megan asks: Why haven't I talked to you for like 6000 days?
Well... it's mostly because I got a job and ever since I've started that job I've been pretty busy and haven't had the chance to talk to you. Aren't you curious as to what my job is? No? Ok fiiiine. I work for a time travel company and I've travelled 6000 days into the future just to see this comment and reply to it. I'm really daniel from 6000 days ago and since i travelled into the future 6000 days ago you haven't spoken to me in 6000 days. Weird, eh? Anyway, I have much news to bring to you from the past but you probably already know all that stuff so I won't say anything...
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