Daily Observations

Fat people. I’m surrounded by them at work and I have to listen to them all day long. But before I start I want to make clear that I have nothing against them. Except maybe my face when I’m forced into a confined space with one. And with fat people every enclosed space has the potential to become a confined space. Ok so maybe I do have something against them, but that’s not what this is about. This is about fat people and food.

It’s no mystery fat people love food. In fact, it is probably responsible for their corpulence. I have shocking statistics that show the link between how fat someone is and how much food they eat. Unfortunately, I had it on a pie chart and I think one of them ate it so you’ll just have to trust me on it.

Anyway, they talk about it constantly. I hear about it all day long. “Oh man I just had the best sausages.” “I love fried everything!” and so on. Now, this isn’t all that bad for the most part. I’m a fan of food, but don’t people tire about talking about the same topic over and over? So I decided that they had to be talking about other stuff but I just tuned them out when they did. Much like I wouldn’t listen to a doctor talk about stocks or a hooker giving hygiene tips, I wouldn’t listen to a fat person talk about not food. That’s a prejudice on my own part, and something that’s probably not very healthy.

So I dropped the prejudice for a day and actually listened. I listened to every single word that escaped their crumb covered mouths and discovered that they are people to. They have their hopes and dreams, their victories and defeats. Unfortunately they all involve food. They hope to eat something delicious and dream of all you can eat. They are victorious in their consumption of a triple cheeseburger but couldn’t quite finish that giant steak. It turned out I was completely right about them and I can most likely correctly assume that all stereotypes are true.

I’m going to go take a siesta under a giant sombrero now. Adios!