Global warming: we all know its there and what it can potentially do to the planet. The ice caps could melt and flood the continents, proving something that I've always felt very strongly about: Waterworld is a prophetic film and everyone should own at least three copies of it in four different formats, since we don't know exactly what technology will survive the waterocalypse.

Ecosystems will shift and birds will fly around in confusion as migratory patterns become useless. Beavers will build dams on freeways and turtles will grow tired of their shells.

But the big question is "Why?" Why is the Earth doing it to us? Is it because of massive fossil fuel consumption and the subsequent pollution? Is it that the place has just become too crowded? Everyone's been to a party where there are just too many people and the room starts to get hotter and hotter and before you know it you're dancing naked on a table and when Frank asks how much you've had to drink all you can say is "What? It's too hot! I can't hear you!"

Or is it something more subtle, something we did way back in the past that the Earth has bottled up, that has slowly been building and building and the Earth is about to say "I've had enough!"?

I know why. And I will tell you why in three words... then in many more words.

Greenland and Iceland. Don't be fooled, it sounds like five words, "green" and "land" and "and" and "ice" and "land" again. But trickery is the middle name of these countries. Some time back in the past the people of these countries got together and decided it'd be hilarious if they named a land dominated by ice "Greenland" and a land lush with greenery "Iceland."

Don't be fooled! Earth wasn't and you shouldn't be, either!

Now, the Earth sat by while we called these lands what we wanted, despite being a slap in the face to the planet. But it figured we wouldn't be here too long, some disease will get us and then this whole nonsense would be over with. We proved a bit more resilient than the planet imagined and are still here today. Greenland and Iceland have worn out their welcome.

So the earth is shifting weather patterns. What good will that do, you think?

Greenland will melt and become the verdant landscape of its namesake. Iceland will be put in a lovely freezing cold zone and become the barren, glacier covered area that it is supposed to be and all will be put in its place. The Earth will be happy and global warming will be over.

This whole process can be stopped, however! All you need to do is write the Rigsombudsman of Greenland and the President of Iceland and tell them to change their names. This whole crisis can be averted if only they switch adjectives...

Everyone needs to act now. Let them know what needs to be done.