Friday was "introduce yourself to someone you know but never speak to day." So what I did was introduce myself to Jessica. This really nice girl in my spanish class. She is pretty interesting... a little odd I guess but nice. I'll just leave it at that... there really isn't ALL that much to say about her since I just met her. Maybe more on her later.

Saturday was "what's your type day." This day you check off little boxes in the book that describe what type of person you go for. The possible choices are: Dumb blonde
clever brunette
wild redhead
lesbian
nag
cold fish

I'm not going to tell you my choices, you pick them for me.

Friday I had to take my spanish placement exam. It was WAY harder than I expected it to be, but that's good. I didn't really want to move up to a higher spanish anyway since i've practically forgotten EVERYTHING. Stupid suckass teacher Ms. Rosvall (any EC student will know what I'm talking about). Then I went to work. Apparenlty I got a raise! 50 cents extra an hour. WOOHOO! After work was spanish class time, where I met Jessica and took a quiz and did a presentation on my dad. Easy stuff.

Oh yeah, and I FINALLY saw School of Rock (sorry Kira... I'll see Finding Nemo eventually!) and I FINALLY gave Heather her christmas present. She was very appreciative ;-)

Today has been a pretty lazy day. Most everyone is gone so I did some reading, some drawing, some sleeping and now I'm doing some laundry. Fun stuff.

Today is meet Jonas day. Jonas is a kid (well.. 21 year old) who was approached by Benrik, the makers of This Book Will Change Your Life, and he was asked to do EVERY single day in the book to the best of his ability and blog about it. Today I am supposed to direct you all to his hilarious blog so we can all share the wonderful life of Jonas.

JONAS JANSSON

You're probably wondering how Tuesday and Wednesday went. I know you are. You are addicted to my blog. It's like textual crack (called "track". Hence the term "track marks"). You snort it through your eyes and feel it course through your brain cells. You revel in the gloriousness of my words and giggle uncontrolably to yourself. Then you realize that I'm not funny, but you really did, in fact, snort crack earlier. This is when all your friends bust in and do one of those lame "interventions" and you can totally tell it's half-assed because one of your friends just did a line and the other is taking a swig out of his flagon. Then you wonder where the hell the flagon came from. This isn't medieval Europe...

Tuesday: "addiction-free day" what is my addictive substance? I used to drink a lot of coke (about 3-4 a day.) But I haven't really had any lately at all. So I could put off coke pretty easily, but that would be taking the easy way out. So what substance did I do away with for a day? The answer to that, my friends, is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Yes, I love those little things. From the moment my teeth split the chocolate, to the slightly crunchy feeling in the peanut butter to the moment before swallowing when the chocolate and the peanut butter mix and a ginormous (new word) flavor nebula swirls in my mouth. Delicious. Anyway, I had none of those tuesday. None. Zero... my tongue felt dead. It wasn't that hard though. Just a little self control is all that's needed. Oh yeah... plus I made sure to eat all of them the day before. I'm smart.

Wednesday: "do something before breakfast day" Not a particularly exciting day, but I woke up at 7 am and took a shower, did some sketching, read some east asian society crap and lifted some weights! WOO! Then I was grumpy most of the day until about 8 pm. So from now on, no morning crap. I'm sleeping in.

Finally, I'd like to address a horrible epidemic that is sweeping the nation: "deep", "insightful", "abstract", "surreal" or whatever other words you can think up that mean "trying to be overly expressive or artistic for the sake of trying to look like you're a deeper person than you really are" AIM profiles. I'll admit, I've been guilty of this from time to time, mostly when I'm depressed (what i like to call "emo." Remember kids, emo means emotional) but it has got to stop. Most people don't care what you have to say (I realize the irony in this statement. Shhhhh) so keep your little poems to yourself. BUT, I'm not saying all are bad, some profiles are actually good but the majority that I read are cookie cutter poems about feelings or situations that everyone has been in and are so non-spectacular that they aren't really worth writing about. Anyway, as a way to rebel against this growing threat I have created my own satirical "emofile," I urge you to do the same. It's fun.
My emofile:
SHE STANDS IN THE LIGHT ONLY TO BE BLINDED BY HER STUPIDITY

SHE SMELLS LIKE DEAD FLOWERS

HER HEART IS ABSENT. MARK IT TARDY AND FAIL IT.

micky mouse is dead
little girl cries in her heart
goofy cant help

End post.

ps: has my writing class improved my writing?

Today was "masturbate at 1:56 to the following fantasy day." The fantasy was "Two blondes. Doing it. Together." Easy enough. Lucky for me Sun was out of the room at the time, so it was easy as pie. I will spare you all the details (ask me for them if you REALLY do want them).

Tomorrow is addiction-free day. Luckily they are only talking about addictive SUBSTANCES or I'd have to spend the whole day away from sleeping and computering! NO WAY I COULD DO THAT!

I plan on updating my blog more often now so don't expect and novel length posts from now on. I find them much more readable if they are shorter.

The first chapter for Detective Max Sex is underway. It is shaping up pretty well.

New word for today: dink. I plan on using it more from now on. I know it's an old word, but I like it.

Fun with books.

Now a status report on how the "This Book Will Change Your Life" book is actually changing my life. And since I haven't blogged lately I'll start with Wednesday and work up to today.

Wednesday: "look at everyone like they are potentially the love of your life day." It was kinda hard to think of EVERYONE as the love of my life and it was actually quite draining to do so. So I just did like every tenth woman I saw. One of them happened to be the lady that works at the cash register in commons. I was purchasing some food and drink and as I stepped up to the register I saw her. The most perfect, beautiful and amazing woman in the world. I looked into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity. My gaze traveled down her face and landed on her lips. Her lips slowly opened and I waited to hear the most perfect words from her mouth. She said a few words but I didn't hear them, I was too enamored by her brilliance. I caught the end of her eloquent wording, it sounded like "... plan?" I just wanted to say "to spend my life with you." But then I realized she was asking what meal plan I was on and I said trojan and she swiped my card and I left. Just like that, I was gone and she was gone. Forever. I danced with love and it stepped on my feet. My shoes are scuffed... but that didn't stop me from walking pretty. I just buffed them up and gazed into eyes of the next tenth woman I met. Ah... cash-register lady, I gave you my soul and you crapped in my grocery bag. I love you.

Thursday: "throw something away that you like day." Yeah... I didn't do this one at first. Actually, I forgot. But a few days ago I threw away my keyboard. I loved that thing. It let me type this blog, it allowed me to do my essays and it gave me the opportunity to talk to amazing people online. I'll miss you keyboard. I'm still sorry for the time I spilled orange juice on you.

Friday: "color in the map day." This day was fun, the book supplies a map with pretty much EVERY country and you color in which places you've been to (in green), which places you intend to go this year (in blue), which places you intend to go before you die (in yellow), and places I'm happy to never set foot in my whole life (in red.) Since this would need a picture to fully illustrate i'll just give a brief list.
Green: Unites States of America, Canada, Mexico.
Blue: none that I intend to go to this year as far as I can tell. But anything can happen so I colored places I'd most likely go. Italy, Spain and England.
Yellow: I colored Italy, Spain and England this color too... which wasn't too bright because the blue plus yellow makes it look kinda greenish looking like I've been there already. Bad foresight on my part. I also colored in japan, australia, iceland, france, china and a few other places.
Red: everything else. Of course I don't think I'll completely omit any country, even if it sucks. It is still a worthwhile experience to go to a sucky place just to see the difference in culture.

Saturday: "out of order day." This day they supply you with an out of order sign that you cut out and place on some public thing. The idea is if everyone does it it will shut down society for that day, unless someone sees through the clever ruse. So I cut out the out of order sign and placed it on the elevator to the odd floors in my building (not the even floors, because I live on an even floor) I sat around for about 20 minutes and saw a few people look a the sign and take the even elevator to a different floor and take the stairs to theirs (so i assume) but then some idiot came downstairs in the odd elevator, which totally RUINED my whole evil plan! I took down the sign (mostly because it had half of my colored world on the back) and i stuck it back in the book. Stupid guy ruining my plan...

Sunday: "write the opening sentences of your debut novel day." This one took me a while. I wanted a gripping first sentence that didn't seem too pretentious or vague. If it seems pretentious I might turn off some readers right away and if it's too vague I might have to spend a lot of time later on clarifying things. But I also wanted it to be strong and attention grabbing. Something that will make the reader think "oooh what's this about?" or "this book is going to be so cool because that ninja samurai has bionic arms and eats fried armadillos." only not so strange. So I present to you the opening line from my debut novel (which I'm working on with my friend, Tyler) called Detective Max Sex:
"People call me Max Sex, not because I'm good at sex, but because it's my name."
It's a story about a young and energetic but somewhat normal detective that has the misfortune of having such an... "interesting" name and the wacky situations it gets him into.

Tomorrow is "masturbate at 1:56 pm to the following fantasy day." The fantasy: two blones. doing it. together. So I guess you all know what I'll be thinking about at 1:56.

I've been at school a little over a week now and have had about a week of classes. They are okay, my favorite so far is drawing and second favorite is earthquakes (the professor is just awesome, he reminds me of Kevin Klein. He's energetic and makes things interesting). Spanish is fine... it's spanish and east asian societies is BORING. Oh well, it's history and I've never liked history.

In other news, I have a new keyboard. I hacked the internet (and american express) and got a free "card reader keyboard" for my american express blue chip card. Only I don't have an american express blue chip card. I am so sneaky.